


Engaged

by alien09



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-11
Updated: 2012-12-05
Packaged: 2017-11-11 21:58:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/483316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alien09/pseuds/alien09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maria Hill and Steve Rogers dance around each other, duty and vulnerability. Four-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

She tries to stay as far away from the Avengers as she can. Maria Hill has always made her displeasure with the Initiative well-known, and she's thankful that Fury respects her enough to not push the issue. She's willing to work with these people, if only because the thought of Earth being invaded by the Skrull makes her objections seem insignificant in comparison.

'Agent Hill,' Steve Rogers greets her politely. Maria inclines her head in acknowledgment before flicking her eyes towards Fury, whose eyepatch seems to be twitching the longer Tony gesticulates around the Helicarrier.

'Nice weather we're having.'

This makes her pause as she stares out the window at the rolling grey sky, the sheets of rain pounding softly against the glass. Maria simply arches a brow and Steve just gives her a bashful smile, rubs the back of his neck.

'Did you require something?'

'Erm…no. Just making conversation,' Steve replies and Maria hesitates, wonders why he would even bother. Tony's made several comments already, all derisive and condescending, about her infallible ability to carry out Fury's orders without question. He'd likened her to the Ultrons Dr Pym built and Maria never let it show how much it bothered her.

_Showing weakness was never an option._

* * *

When Fury pulls her into an abandoned warehouse, shows her the corkboard littered with red string and pictures of various superheroes that would make The Question proud, Maria finally realizes that her worst fears are coming true.

Their salvation could very well be their greatest Achilles' heel.

* * *

Maria notices something off with Steve.

He's still polite, slightly lost and awkward, and always ready to take up his shield for the greater good. She's spent a lot of time observing the Avengers, mostly out of caution but also out of curiosity. Phil ( _when he was still alive_ ) never wasted an opportunity to bend her ear about how incredible these people were.

Tony, the billionaire playboy who reeked of arrogance and disdain for authority, yet was competent and incredibly devoted to Pepper.

Bruce who suppressed his anger and lived in constant fear of his own skin.

Clint who still sought redemption for Loki by taking every mission that came his way, no matter how dangerous, and hid behind his sarcasm.

Thor who shouldn't even be real, yet dedicated himself to protecting a planet he had adopted as his own.

Natasha who always spoke of wiping red from her ledger, yet kept adding to her numbers because it was the only way she knew how to live.

And then there was Steve. Steve who sought her out at Phil's funeral and offered a fumbling, heartfelt condolence that had caught her off-guard. Steve who always made an effort to say something to her and cut Tony off when he thought the older man was going too far. Steve who had lost so much and yet still believed in good and hope and peace.

But this Steve wasn't the one who had asked her about the weather a few months ago. There is something lurking behind his eyes, something that raises her skin and sets off that internal alarm that had gotten her out of more scrapes than she can count. Maria brushes it off as paranoia but when she catches Steve all but toss his shield aside after a mission, she knows that  _this man isn't Captain America._

Steve treats that shield like a lost lover (and maybe it is, a reminder of Peggy) and Maria thinks he holds on to it because it's the only thing that is  _his_ , that was with him before he was frozen, a piece to remind him of who he was and still is.

Maria knows she should go to Fury but she thinks of the darkened warehouse and corkboard and instead finds herself going to Tony.

'I'm sorry, did you just say you think  _Cap_ is a  _Skrull_?' Is the expected response she gets and Maria grinds her teeth, darts her eyes around to make sure that they're still alone.

'He's not acting like himself,' she hisses out. 'How have you not noticed?'

Tony stares at her, leans a hip against his desk. 'Why haven't you told Fury this? Isn't shutting down the Initiative what you want?'

His first question makes her hesitate before she settles her face into an impassive mask. 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend.'

Tony chuckles and shakes his head.

'Look I think I would have noticed if Cap got himself probed,' Tony dismisses her concerns and Maria wants to smack him.

'The Skrulls are shapeshifters who are able to take on the memories of their victims Stark. My problem with the Avengers isn't a personal vendetta and we don't have time to discuss the numerous reasons why my objections to your team are entirely rational. Now, Sir, would you please treat me with the respect I deserve.'

Tony appears taken aback at her clipped words before his features settle into a serious mask.

'Fury needs me because when it comes to heroes and power, he's only concerned with making sure that he gets the right means to satisfy his ends. The Avengers came into being because of Phil Coulson, and I'm  _not_ going to let Fury, you, or some Skrull sully that man's name because the thought of Captain America being fallible is too much to stomach.'

'Are you sure?' Tony's question is deserved but he's also scrutinizing her thoroughly and Maria shifts a little.

'Steve Rogers isn't on Earth.'

'You've looked already?'

'Yes I am actually capable of my own thoughts,' Maria snaps out bitterly but hurries on before Tony can respond. 'I have a contact in SWORD who can help. I'm not asking again.'

* * *

They don't find Steve. Steve finds them.

'There's something approaching,' Agent Abigail Brand mumbles to Maria before klaxons wail across the Peak, bathing her green hair in red. Maria has known Abigail for years, since their days at Quantico when they were just two young women trying to find their place in life. Maria had escaped her father, his fists and contempt and the ghost of her dead mother. Abby was running from herself, from the energy that would coat her arms to the half-alien heritage that she had revealed to Maria on a night that seemed entirely too long ago.

'What's happening?' Tony demands and Abigail tells him to shut up as her crew scramble to decipher the approaching craft.

'It's Skrull,' someone yells out and the ship swells into a cacophony of noise.

Abigail tells them to shoot at the same time Tony tells them not to.

'Look! It's morse code,' Tony's smiling like he's seen a miracle and Abigail is ready to deliver a cutting remark, when Maria finally makes out the message.

'It's…'

An armoured hand claps her on the back forcefully. 'Looks like the old man still has a trick or two up his sleeve!'

A few minutes later and Steve appears, thinner and with his cheekbones more prominent, a beard threatening to cover half his face. Maria looks at his blue eyes and finds her chest finally easing, a weight getting off her shoulders.

'Huh,' is all Abigail says at her said as Tony takes off his helmet to pull Steve into a hug.

'God you smell terrible.'

'Yeah. It's amazing what being a captive entails,' Steve answers Tony.

'What?' Maria asks, making sure to remain out of sight.

'Fury is going to have your ass for this. You circumvented his authority and let  _Tony Stark_ be your accomplice,' Abigail points out too casually. 'All for the good Captain.'

'I didn't do this for him,' Maria answers and it's true.

'Oh I love how you think you can lie to me,' Abigail smirks. 'There's nothing wrong with letting down a few walls. From what I've heard, the Captain seems to have made quite a good impression on you.'

Maria feels the heat on her cheeks.

'Agent Hill?' Steve calls out and the blood rushes to her face when she turns to see him looking at her with those eyes. 'Tony said you're the one who spotted I wasn't…well, myself.'

Stark looks insufferable along with Abigail.

'Just doing my job Sir,' Maria replies, making sure to keep her stance and tone rigid.

'In any case, thank you,' his smile is warm and full, despite his haggard appearance and the fatigue buried in the lines of his face, and Maria feels her lips quirking in response.

All that gets pushed aside when the Skrull armada appears.

* * *

People are screaming and children and crying, but Maria has never felt so alive. Blood drips into her eye from a blow to the head and she's sure one or two of her ribs are broken. Abigail is at her back, guns in hand as she attempts to pin back a few of the reptilian creatures.

'Abigail now would be a good time to let loose,' Maria barks out as Iron Man and Hulk go toe to toe with a Skrull who seems to be able to alter his mass and weight. She feels Abigail's spine stiffen before the guns in her hand blaze with energy. The Skrull jolts back and Maria doesn't need to turn around to know that there's a fanatical smile working its away across Abby's face.

'I can handle this,' Abigail calls out and Maria nods, pumps her legs towards the next available target she can see. Smoke and the metallic tang of blood and debris hover around her, familiar smells that shouldn't be. It isn't hard to pick out the red, white and blue figure of Steve and the Skrull he's up against seems to have the same abilities as the Human Torch. Flames shoot out and blast over Steve's shield, forcing Captain America to his knees. Which is why he doesn't see the Skrull with spikes protruding out his body. Maria does though and reacts without thinking.

She hears her name being called, something sharp piercing her stomach and pain, all consuming, following after. Her vision wavers and shifts as her body goes limp, her face pressed into the ground as she sucks in dust and agony with each labored breath.

'Oh  _god_ ,' a man says and she feels something press against her stomach, and the dots of black all connect until she falls away willingly into the darkness.

* * *

Maria hates hospitals. She's come to them enough growing up with her father, having to make up excuses at each new ER she finds. Can't let the doctors get too suspicious of the bruises and scars littering her body and take her away from the only family she has left.

(She finally leaves her father at sixteen, so in the end she doesn't know why she bothered)

The sterile atmosphere isn't welcome when she wakes up, neither is the tube stuck down her throat. Someone yells for a doctor as her vitals spike and she claws uselessly at the plastic contraption.

'Hey its going to be alright Agent Hill. The doctor will be here soon,' Steve's voice is the last thing she expects to hear.

The physical therapy is going to be a bitch, she can already tell. Her ability to react, to respond to a threat without delay is crucial and the gaping wound the SHIELD doctor says he patched back up was near fatal. Steve lingers in the background and Fury is at her bedside, arms crossed and leather coat hanging ominously as the doctor stutters through the sheer hell she can expect the next couple of months.

'Agent Hill?' Fury says after the doctor has left and Maria straightens instinctively at the buried displeasure in his tone.

'Yes Sir.'

'Next time you want to abuse your authority, make sure you do it with someone other than the world's biggest narcissist.'

'Of course Sir.'

'Good job Maria.'

_Phil would be proud._

Fury gives her a look before nodding, sweeping out of the room and leaving her with Steve. A tense silence fills the air and Maria wants to ask why he's even here.

'Sir?' She finally breaks the heavy quiet and Steve laughs.

'It's Steve.'

Calling him Steve out loud would indicate familiarity, something she wasn't sure how to deal with.

Steve is looking at her stomach, brow drawn together and this is something she's acquainted with – guilt.

'I was doing my job Sir.'

Steve seems to recoil slightly before sighing, rubbing a hand down his face.

'I could have taken the hit.'

His words feel like an insult.

'No offence Sir but in the grand scheme of things, your ability to take the hit is what makes me expendable.'

'You're not expendable,' Steve bites out instantly and Maria isn't sure why he's so angry. 'You shouldn't talk about yourself that way.'

'I'm a soldier Captain,' Maria tells him patiently, 'just like you. I know what my duty is.'

'Duty…' Steve mumbles the word before shaking his head. Maria feels the weariness seeping into her bones, struggles to keep her eyes open.

'Go to sleep Maria. I have my duty too.'

Against her will, against what she knew she should resist, she trusts him enough to do so.


	2. Chapter 2

Maria holds her side gingerly as she sucks in a breath, careful to make sure no one sees. The flaring pain that has plagued her since the Secret Invasion has dulled, resurfacing whenever she does something without remembering that she's injured. She doesn't want to spend another moment in her apartment unless she absolutely has to.

' **You know Maria, one day being a part of SHIELD isn't going to be an option,' Phil says. Maria looks at him.**

' **There's more to life than serving your country, you know?'**

**Maria resists the urge to snort. Her life before SHIELD had been dodging fists and cleaning up after her father, working herself to the bone so that the old man wouldn't have another reason to seek her out whenever he hit the bottle.**

' **Don't get me wrong. Working with** _ **Captain America**_ **,' Phil whistles. 'Sure Stark and Thor are…eccentric but their good men who know that you don't have to sacrifice everything to save the world.'**

' **Sir?'**

' **It's Phil Maria,' he answers like he's done all the times before. 'Just…think about what I said, okay?'**

* * *

Tony asks her what she thought of the gift basket he sent her.

'Tell Ms Potts that I enjoyed the chocolate,' Maria tells him pointedly. Tony doesn't even have the grace to look ashamed.

'She used my money to buy it, didn't she?'

* * *

Fury's stalks around the Helicarrier and the black cloud that hangs over him is palpable. The President understandably isn't too thrilled to learn that Fury had kept the Skrull invasion from him, and is equally appalled that Steve was compromised which led him to question whether any of the other Avengers are liabilities.

'C'mon Cap, you know they didn't mean it,' she hears Tony tell Steve and angles herself so she can overhear their conversation. She fiddles with the monitor in front of her in an attempt to look busy.

There is a brief moment of silence. 'I know. But I'm supposed to be this…I don't know, American ideal-'

'You mean boy scout,' Tony interjects dryly.

'They've lost their faith in me Stark,' Steve answers seriously. 'The people don't believe that I'm not an alien bent on enslaving them. The whole reason Captain America exists is  _because_ of faith and belief. When that's gone, what's left?'

'Look your obsessive need to be the ideal soldier isn't just an act,' Tony says and the teasing is gone from his tone. 'You're putting too much stock in a population that idolizes idiots. Chin up. Be the hero Phil believed you were. Be the hero you know you are.'

She never hears what Steve says in response because suddenly Fury is barking out her name. Maria does turn to look at Steve and catches his gaze. She's not sure if he's looking at her or through her, but either way the look in his eyes does  _something_ to her.

* * *

She recalls the way he was when she was in the hospital, his fumbling attempts at conversation filling the empty silence of her prolonged stay.

' **Good work,' Brad pats her leg and Maria glares at him. Brad's a former Marine who doesn't sugarcoat his words, and he finds Maria's taciturn demeanour charming rather than off-putting.**

' **Right.'**

**Her back is to the door and she glares down at her stomach.**

' **Patience Agent Hill,' Brad tells her gruffly. 'You'll be back in the field in no time. Just try to avoid-'**

' **Oh,' Steve's voice is sharp and Maria twists her head sharply, sees red creeping up his cheeks. She wonders why before remembering that she'd untied the back of her gown to do some of the exercises.**

' **Captain,' she says and wonders if her voice is shaky. Brad looks momentarily stunned before taking Steve's hand into a teeth-rattling grasp, Maria hurriedly attempting to tie her gown. The movement causes her to let out a pained moan unchecked.**

' **Here, let me.'**

**Steve's knuckles and fingertips brush against her skin and Maria doesn't want to admit that it feels nice, that she can feel her stomach twist not from pain but something else entirely.**

* * *

Steve pretends that he isn't affected by the protests against him, that the smear campaign rolls off his back like water. Maria knows a thing or two about putting on a front and so, for some unknown reason, she decides to do something about it. He's standing on the floor of the Helicarrier dressed in jeans and a brown leather jacket, hand in pockets and face turned down to the churn waters of the river below.

'Nice weather we're having,' is what she ends up saying and it makes her cringe inside. Steve looks startled and then confused, before finally giving her a smile that's entirely too fake.

'Yeah.'

A quiet settles between them and Maria studies him out of the corner of her eye, takes note of the frown that has been permanently etched into his brow.

'Do you want to know why I never wanted Fury to start the Avengers?'

Steve considers her, his look making her forge ahead.

'What happens when your greatest weapon becomes your greatest threat? You Avengers are supposed to police the world but whose supposed to police you. And I think the Skrulls proved my point. What happens when, say, Bruce suddenly decides to give in to the Hulk entirely? What happens if Charles Xavier uses Cerebro to brainwash everyone on Earth to do his bidding?'

'What happens when Captain America gets body snatched by a Skrull,' Steve adds without inflection. Maria hesitates before continuing.

'Yes. Like I told Stark, it's not personal. Having worked and fought alongside you, I know that you deserve the trust that Fury puts in you.' Maria stops, wonders whether he even cares what she has to say. 'You're a soldier Captain, just like me. We both have a duty to this country. It's not something that everyone understands. I've always been of the opinion that if you're doing what you believe is right, then it doesn't really matter what anyone else says. Our conviction is our own,' she finishes somewhat awkwardly and then turns to leave.

His fingers sliding around her wrist makes her halt abruptly, and she ignores the heat burning into her skin as blue eyes pin her in place.

'Thank you,' he says and Maria nods. He lets his touch linger for a beat longer and she isn't aware that she was holding her breath until she's walking away.

* * *

When she's finally cleared for active duty, Maria doesn't stop to say no when Agent Quartermain asks if she's willing to help transport Whirlwind to Ant-Man's negative zone prison. He flashes her an extremely nice smile that Maria can't help returning, something which causes Steve's features to pinch and her to wonder why.

Steve's beside her when they walk through the Baxter Building, Thor and Quartermain flanking Whirlwind.

'I didn't know you and Agent Quartermain knew each other,' he suddenly mentions, none too casually. Maria doesn't understand the implied question.

'Agent Quartermain and I have worked on missions together,' Maria replies, leaving out the one time Clay and her had ended up making out like a couple of teenagers after a close call. She doesn't think Steve deserves (or should) know that.

'Ah.'

She's baffled as Steve grips the straps on his shoulders tighter, walking around with a vibranium shield as if it didn't weight a ton.

'Is there a reason-'

'Just curous,' is his quick reply and he gives her a lopsided smile that she steadfastly tells herself not to return. His eyes shutter when she doesn't and Maria thinks she did something wrong, but she's not exactly sure what.

* * *

Alien bugs. She's seriously not surprised that they encounter disgusting bugs hell bent on eating Dr Pym's prison in a place where they shouldn't be any sentient life outside of 42. Quartermain sits stoically in front of the monitor womb as Maria blocks out the incensed cries from the prisoners incarcerated inside.

'They're  _everywhere_ ,' one of the other agents breathes and Maria regrets not taking that extra gun with her at the Baxter Building.

'They've got us surrounded. We need to get some kind of choke point in place so that they don't get in here. They destroyed the gate which means the next guard shift is going to open that portal and let those things into Earth,' Steve speaks and the thread of authority that thrums through his words is hard to ignore.

'We need to let those prisoners out,' Maria chimes in and feels everyone's eyes on her. 'All hands on deck. There just isn't any way we make it out alive unless we get more boots on the ground.'

'Maria's right,' her name rolls off Steve's tongue and Maria isn't the only one surprised. 'This right here is our Alamo. All you agents hold the line. Thor, you and me are going to convince these men that cooperating is in their best interests-'

'I'll come with you.'

Steve regards her. 'You stay here and coordinate-'

'I am fully capable of-'

He grasps her arm and drags her off to the side.

'What  _the hell_ do you think you're-'

'I apologize but we don't have time to argue. You aren't one hundred per cent. You still walk with a hitch in your step Maria,' he continues over her protests. 'It's barely noticeable but you practically got impaled by that spike. You stay at the monitor womb and lead those men because I trust that when the time comes, and destroying the gate is the only way to stop these things from invading Earth, you'll do the right thing.'

Well  _damn_.

'Understood  _Sir_ ,' she emphasizes the title somewhat angrily and Steve seems amused by her. The next thing he does completely floors her. He's leaning down and then his lips are pressed against hers. They're chapped and scratch slightly, and Maria feels her insides jolt despite the innocent and chaste nature of the gesture. He pulls back and Maria stands there, stunned.

'Just in case I never get a chance to do that,' he murmurs before he's gone, dragging Thor and a smirking Clay with him. The SHIELD agents left behind look like they've seen a horror movie and Maria clears her throat loudly.

'Let's get to work,' she barks out and they scramble into action.

Maria wants to ask one of them if that actually happened, but remembers who she is and doesn't.

* * *

They manage to subdue the bugs with the help of one of the prisoners. Something about brain waves and quantum physics that flew completely over her head. They all emerge scratched, bleeding and victorious amidst the piles of dead alien bugs. Maria is just glad to be on Earth.

Clay presses a gauze pad to a laceration on his arm.

'Hello, my name's Steve, I would be honoured if you'd join me for a rave, what I've been told is this era's equivalent to the sock hop,' Clay murmurs under his breath and Maria doesn't react violently only because the man beside her is one of the few friends she has.

'He doesn't talk that way,' Maria fires back and doesn't stop herself from picking Steve out of the crowd. He's with Thor and Fury, a few rips and tears in his uniform the only sign that he was even in battle.

'You actually like him,' Clay is astonished and then narrows his eyes in thought when Maria fails to respond immediately.

'I don't know. Apparently Maria Hill doesn't feel anything, remember?'

'Maria,' Clay sighs out, shaking his head. 'You know that's not true.'

Maria shrugs off his words and waves over a paramedic.

'I'm  _fine_ ,' Clay insists but Maria rolls her eyes, glaring at him until he finally submits to medical attention. 'Hey, don't you need-'

Maria is on the other side of the room before Clay can complete his sentence.

'Mar – I mean Agent Hill,' Steve says and Maria whirls around, acutely aware of the space between them and how close he is to her. 'Have you gotten-'

'I didn't suffer any serious injuries.'

Steve frowns. 'You should still get checked out just in case, considering that you suffered-'

'Why did you kiss me?' She blurts out and Steve trails off, stares at her.

'I'm sorry if I offended you,' he mutters and Maria cradles her elbow, looking to the side.

'If I was offended, the alien bugs would have been the least of your worries.'

'So it was…okay?'

Maria thinks he's adorable and there's a warm feeling in her chest right now as she aims her eyes at him.

'It was okay,' she says softly and Steve's face lights up noticeably. He's so genuine and  _good_ and she really doesn't want to ruin him. 'But we should forget it happened. You were just caught up in the moment.'

'No I wasn't,' he retorts and she can tell he's hurt but Maria doesn't know how to explain. 'I knew what I wanted to do before 42.'

Maria blows out an impatient hiss, hugs her arms tighter to herself. 'I'm not an easy woman to get along with.'

'I don't know about that,' Steve answers, lifting a shoulder. 'I haven't had any problems so far.'

Maria's still uncertain.

_Why me?_

'I'm not asking for anything you aren't ready or willing to give. I just want…I want to know you Maria. Maybe we could go out for coffee? Natasha said we would like that,' Steve tells her eagerly and for a moment Maria is mortified that Steve had been discussing her with the Black Widow.

_Well at least he didn't go to Tony._

'Coffee sounds nice,' she says somewhat shyly.

That night her apartment doesn't seem so lonely and Maria isn't quite sure what to make of the smile on her face.


	3. Chapter 3

'So how was your date?'

'It wasn't a date,' Maria responds quickly, pretending to study the coral gown in front of her. Abigail lets her have a moment before chuckling in her ear.

'Denial doesn't suit you Hill,' her voice is layered with static, considering where she's calling from. Maria's sure Fury would explode if he knew how Abigail and her pilfered expensive government equipment for, well, girl talk.

'We had coffee. That was it.'

'Sure,' Abigail draws out the word and Maria rubs the chiffon between her fingers. 'So coffee is the reason why you've dragged me everywhere so you can find the perfect dress for tall, blonde and all-American?'

'This dress is fine,' Maria pulls out the gown without looking at the price tag, refusing to acknowledge the truth behind Abigail's words.

* * *

She's been avoiding Steve since he had taken her to a little café in Brooklyn. The man behind the counter, an old Italian from somewhere in Sorrento, had greeted Steve like a long-lost friend and Maria realizes that she's getting a look at a part of Steve few had the privilege to see.

He'd been charming, a gentleman, and that kiss on the cheek he had given her at the end had sent butterflies shooting around her stomach.

Maria doesn't know what to do about this, because she's seen the knowing looks from Natasha and Abigail and everyone from SHIELD, and she's not sure she's ready to be  _that person_ for Steve.

Lord knows she's too damaged to be anyone's prize.

* * *

The benefit is a typical Stark affair. Shiny, ostentatious and overflowing with self-important people with money. Tony is the star attraction and Maria takes a moment to admire him in his element. Maria isn't ashamed to admit that she'd likened Tony to the suit he often wore – shiny and hollow. But he's proved her wrong and as she watches Pepper linger beside Tony, sipping slowly from the flute of champagne, Maria indulges in a moment of whimsy. For a brief moment she sees Steve with his arm around her.

She blinks and shakes her head.

'Wow. You look…that is…'

Maria twists around and her heart picks up its pace when she sees Steve in a fitted suit probably worth more than her apartment. It stretches across his chest and skims down his legs, the white of the shirt making his eyes seem bluer.

'Captain,' she manages to say, feigning nonchalance. Steve's staring at her and she wills herself not to blush, to not give him more power over her.

'You look beautiful,' Steve tells her softly and Maria turns away, fingers pressing into the sides of her thighs as she swallows.

'Thank you,' she finally replies because it's the polite thing to do. The required thing.

'Have I done something wrong? Because I thought we had a good time the other day,' Steve remarks, almost too casually. His shoulders are tense and she can't help but notice that he's clenching his jaw. Something in her chest tightens because he doesn't deserve this.

'We did,' she agrees and his muscles relax. Maria doesn't know what to say. She hasn't had a lot of time to date and she's noticed men are always hesitant to approach her. Clay says its because she's too beautiful but Maria thinks its because she's too cold, too aloof.

'Then why have you been avoiding me?' Steve asks.

'I don't think we should talk about this right now,' Maria answers somewhat desperately, grabbing a glass of champagne so that she can twirl the stem of the flute between her fingers. Anything to not look Steve in the eye.

'Maria,' his voice is gentle, caring and almost like a caress. She likes the way he says her name, her given name. 'Every time I see you you've run away-'

'I haven't  _run away_ ,' she stiffens and feels the need to point out. Running away and avoiding someone were two entirely different things.

 _Wow. Are you even listening to yourself right now?_ An opinion that sounds suspiciously like Abigail rings through her head.

'Okay,' Steve readily concedes and shuffles closer. The heat from his body brushes against her skin and the material of his jacket rubs against her bare arm. The friction sends a shiver down her spine.

The ground beneath her feet quivers and it takes a second for Maria to realize that something's wrong. The windows explode on her next exhale and Steve throws his body over hers, knocking her to the ground as screams mingle in the air. Ignoring the play of muscles covering her, Maria reaches for the gun strapped around her thigh.

'Pitiful,' a woman says scornfully. 'I cannot believe that my people failed to conquer you before. Cowering and whimpering.'

'Leave it,' Steve hisses through his teeth, referring to her weapon.

'Well this takes gatecrashing to a whole new level,' Tony, Maria thinks, can't help but remark. Maria pushes at Steve's shoulder to get a better look at the enemy.

_Skrull._

The green skin, long green hair and alien features send a frisson of panic through Maria's spine. This wasn't good. Hadn't Fury assured the President that the Skrulls weren't a threat to national security any longer?

Maria eyes the hulking man brandishing what looks like a large axe just behind the Skrull woman, as well as the other Skrull scattered throughout the ballroom.

'Anthony Stark,' the Skrull woman draws out the name.

'The pleasure seems a bit diminished if I don't know  _your_ name,' Tony tells her, Pepper clinging to the sleeve of his jacket.

'My name is Queen Veranke, leader of the Avengers, and I am here to take your planet,' Veranke sneers almost regally, looking down her nose at Tony. Maria considers this quite a feat since Tony towers over Veranke by a good few inches.

'I've got to admire your spirit,' Tony answers, frowning as he brushes off his now not so immaculate jacket. 'Or is it stupidity? You know I can never tell,' he continues to Bruce, whose clenching and unclenching his fists.

Maria rolls her eyes when Steve attempts to push her behind him, making sure to bump her shoulder roughly against his when she stands by his side.

'Executioner,' Veranke says and the next thing Maria sees is the large man bearing down on Tony and Pepper with his axe. Bruce immediately looses his control and Maria glimpses Skrulls start dropping as Natasha and Clint make their presence known. The Hulk drives a fist at the axe and the air between his hand and the steel wobble before exploding, sending both big men back a few feet.

'Get these people out of here,' Maria tells a passing SHIELD agent who nods without dissent. 'Where's your shield?'

She pitches forward into Steve, her body locking up.

'Should I take her as well?' Another female voice enters the fray. Green emanates from her fingers and Maria looks down to see sinister emerald tendrils wrapping around her.

Maria locks eyes with Veranke.

'Fury has affection for this one.'

' _Don't_ hurt her,' Steve grinds out, the tendons in his neck standing out.

A laugh echoes before, once again, her world fades into a blurry grey.

* * *

Her dress is ruined.

Maria doesn't know why that's the first thing that comes to mind when she struggles back to consciousness. There's a chill in the air that's seeping through the thin chiffon and she scrabbles her fingers over what feels like metal.

'Good, you're awake,' Natasha says impatiently.

'Sit-rep?' Maria stifles the groan.

'They've got us separated from the boys,' Natasha offers, 'but I heard Veranke mention exposing their weaknesses.'

A sour taste goes through Maria's mouth.

'Any casualties?'

'No. Well, at least none that I know of.'

'Any ideas?' Maria asks, taking in the slabs of metal surrounding them. There were high slits scattered frequently at the top, not big enough for a female body to squeeze through.

'You wouldn't happen to have Dr Pym's shrink ray in your bra would you?' Natasha replies somewhat evenly. 'Wait. Do you hear that?'

One of the walls shimmers before disappearing completely, revealing the woman with glowing green hands. She gives them both a smirk.

'Your presence is needed.'

'Shit,' Maria hears Natasha whisper brokenly before her body escapes her control.

Steve's straining against the shackles on his wrists and ankles when they bring her into the room. A Skrull in a lab coat gestures towards a chair and Maria feels the tentacles of unease flare up and latch more tightly onto her skin.

'Thank you Enchantress,' the female Skrull says politely.

_Hello Agent Hill. My name is Ard'ran._

No. Not this.

'Get out of my head,' Maria hisses through her teeth as Enchantress slams her into the chair.

'What are you doing to her?' Steve practically yells.

_He cares for you greatly, you know? I can see it in his mind._

Maria doesn't answer, Enchantress flicking her wrists to seal Maria to the chair before slanting her gaze between Steve and Maria.

'How quaint,' she sneers before turning to And'ran. 'Pity we both can't share the spoils.'

_You and I are going to become thoroughly acquainted Agent Hill. Now, shall we start with your father?_

* * *

Tears make Steve's horror less distinct. And'ran has slithered through her mind, peeling back cracks and skeletons she has kept buried deep.

' **Dammit girl, didn't I tell you to get the right one?' Her father grabs the bottle and hurls it at the wall. Maria flinches, scrunching up her small body as glass and liquor splinter and burn through the air.**

**That's the day she realizes her father's gone.**

* * *

'I've never broken a man by breaking a woman,' And'ran remarks almost conversationally. 'Especially a woman who's already broken.'

Maria's been tortured before. It's happened twice during her career with SHIELD. Once in some remote far flung place and the first time in Madripoor.

She's always thought she was strong enough. But now, she doesn't really think she wants to be.

' _No!_ '

The hoarse yell barely registers but And'ran's abrupt departure from her mind forces her to gulp in a breath of air.

'I'm going to kill you,' she thinks Steve yells but she's not quite sure. Pain is lancing through her temples and Maria can't seem to keep her thoughts in order. God, were any of these thoughts even her own.

'Impossible,' And'ran shrieks.

'You're not getting inside my head,' Steve tells the Skrull as Maria reminds herself not to give in to the desire to just drop into the nothingness.

_She got inside mine._

The sound of a body hitting something filters through, a sound that's familiar.

'Maria? Maria? God Maria, don't you dare…' Steve chokes out and Maria feels his callused fingers grasping her cheeks.

She likes the way his skin feels against hers.

'Steve?' His name comes out mangled but he must have understood because he's laughing, relief colouring his voice.

'Did I tell you how beautiful you look in that dress?'

Maria can't remember and it makes the lump in her throat grow more tangible.

'These bindings…I can't break them,' he murmurs in frustration.

'H-h-help.'

'I'm not leaving you.'

' _Go_.'

'I'm not-'

The floor tilts and Steve goes flying backwards, Maria's chair following. A second later she's sprawled gracelessly on the floor, limbs weak and body tired. It pricks at her pride when Steve scoops her up into his arms.

'Fine.'

'Don't argue,' Steve bites out, sounding every inch the Captain that he is. The door is thrown open before Steve reaches it and Maria feels Steve's arms cradle her even closer.

'Captain? My name is Agent Phillip Lawson. Fury sent me.'

'How do I know you're not a Skrull?'

'Fury said to tell you shawarma.'

The word made Steve relax slightly.

'I'm still not convinced.'

Agent Lawson stepped into the room, eyes darting around and looking over his shoulder.

'Follow,' Maria whispered. Because really, what did they have to lose? Maria knew she was a liability now, more than anything they needed to be on the move.

'Fine. Lead the way Agent Lawson.'

* * *

'Protect her,' Steve sets Maria down gently before dashing to help Tony and Bruce. Fury is there in the throng and Steve's shield glints as he catches it. The whir of propulsion blasts and trick arrows, the roar of Bruce's battle cry, the solid presence of Agent Lawson as he crouches down beside her.

'Give me a gun,' Maria musters up. Agent Lawson doesn't seem thrilled with giving her a weapon. Maria leans heavily against the corridor as she makes herself upright.

'I'm your commanding officer Lawson. Give me a goddamn gun before I take yours off you.'

Something in her tone must have gotten through because Lawson hands over the glock strapped to his thigh. Maria rips her dress so that she can move easily.

It's satisfying to put a bullet in a Skrull, even if it doesn't really slow them down. It helps ease the unedifying feeling of fragility clawing at her insides.

'Look out!' Lawson manages to get out before slamming into her. Maria's head bounces off the floor and it proves to be the final straw.

* * *

She wakes up in a hospital. On Earth, she clarifies as she looks out the window.

Maria doesn't feel as thankful as she thinks she ought to be.

Steve's head is pressed up against the waffle-cone wool blanket and he's still in the tux he wore to Tony's event. She shifts and the sounds seem to magnify in the quiet room. Steve stirs and Maria holds her breath.

His blue eyes widen and then finally close in what seems to be reprieve.

_You're weak, fragmented pieces glued together. What makes you think that a man who symbolizes the exact opposite could ever come to feel anything for you?_

And'ran's words run through her head as Steve takes her hand up between his.

'What happened?' Her voice comes out scratchy.

Weak.

'There was some kind of blast. These other aliens called the Kree came in. I'm still not sure. I haven't been debriefed yet. I've just been…I'm glad you're okay.'

Maria stares at him. The sunlight makes him look haggard and worn out. There were superficial scratches on his hands and face.

_This is the second time I've been hospitalized._

'Agent Lawson managed to…' Steve trails off, shakes his head. 'He's okay. He managed to…'

'Protect me,' Maria finishes, bitterly.

_Weak human. Broken human._

'I'm fine. You should go home.'

Steve presses his lips together.

'I'll go get the doctor.'

Maria closes her eyes when he's gone, misses the warmth of his presence and his touch. She's fine and in one piece, relatively, and that's what should matter, isn't it?

'What the-'

She opens her eyes to find herself staring intently at the ceiling. Extremely close to the ceiling. Maria panics when she looks down and sees Steve gaping up at her.

'Get Tony Stark and Director Fury on the line.  _Now_ ,' Steve barks out.

Maria raises her hand and studies the faint yellow glow radiating from her skin.

_Not again._


	4. Chapter 4

 

She's not human.

_She's not human._

* * *

Abigail arrives the day after Fury has her transported to the SHIELD helicarrier. Maria's been closeted inside a contraption much like the one Fury had had built for Banner, except this one had furniture and the amenities needed to make it feel less like a prison.

Fury's treating her as an unstable asset and while part of her understands, another part chafes underneath the distrust.

_This must be what the Avengers feel like every day._

'God Ria,' Abigail barks out when she enters the room, hands on hips. 'What the hell happened?'

'I'm an alien. Apparently,' Maria replies somewhat listlessly. 'Apparently Agent Lawson was a Kree scout sent here to observe us and the blast he covered me from must have done something to my physiology.'

Abigail stares at her steadily and Maria stares at the wall.

'You okay?'

Maria turns to face her friend, eyes glassy. She shakes her head minutely and Abigail's there next to her, arm over her shoulder. A flick of her finger and something pops.

'There. The walls don't have eyes anymore.'

Maria finally lets herself break down.

* * *

She's subjected to tests, a lot of tests.

Steve is always in the periphery but Maria can't deal with him now, focuses on mending the hole inside of her that suddenly seems too big for her to handle.

* * *

'Commander Hill,' Tony intones respectfully when she walks onto the deck towards the round table the Avengers have claimed for their own. She's dressed in her SHIELD uniform and his address brings her up short.

'Iron Man,' she retorts.

Steve is just behind Tony, regarding her with those blue eyes. She's kept their conversations brief and curt and her stomach twists because she knows she's hurting him.

_Especially a woman who's already broken._

And'ran is a hard Skrull to forget.

'Captain,' Maria ensures she returns his gaze without flinching. Steve's mouth curves into an understanding smile.

'Good you're all here,' Fury remarks, nudging Maria towards the seat next to Steve. She lowers herself into it reluctantly, shooting her gaze warily from one Avenger to the next. Natasha gives her a quirk of the lips, Thor and Bruce friendly expressions. Clint regards her like a specimen he's just discovered.

'As you know Agent Hill has gotten herself into a bit of a…situation,' Fury stumbles somewhat delicately. 'Her physiology has fused with the Kree known as Mar-Vell, whose been posing as a SHIELD agent called Lawson.' It isn't hard to miss the anger on Fury's face. 'Mar-Vell's holed up with Hank Pym in 42 but that leaves us with the question of what to do with Agent Hill.'

Maria feels her fingers tighten on her thigh when Steve's knee bumps into hers.

'She's become a valuable asset, one that will no doubt be useful for the Avengers Initiative.'

_No._

'Sir-'

'She's not ready,' Natasha interjects. 'With all due respect Director Fury Maria may have all this power, but she has no idea how to use it.'

'Which is why I thought the good Captain could show her the ropes.'

'Sir could I speak with you for a moment?' Maria shoots to her feet and doesn't give Fury a chance to respond before she's stalking out of hearing distance from the table.

'This isn't up for discussion Maria,' Fury says before she can even voice an objection. 'It's an order. The Council wants to see you put down like a dog.'

'I'm not a threat.'

'Look so far the changes have been physical. But after what happened to you on that Kree ship, and Mar-Vell's…I need you to work with me on this one.'

' **He's going to treat you like a tool Maria. As a human you were his right hand man. Now you're powerful and can snap him like a twig. Fury's going to put you on a leash because he knows he can control you,' Abigail states. Maria stiffens at the buried insult.**

' **I'm not his lap dog.'**

' **God Hill, I know that. But Nick Fury hasn't made his way to the top based on sentiment. He's going to use you to get what he wants, no matter what it does to you.'**

**Maria looks down at the faint yellow glow on her skin, watches as Abigail's hand squeezes her fingers.**

' **You're going to have to play by his rules if you want to stay with SHIELD.' It was a harsh reminder told gently.**

'Yes Sir.'

Fury gives her a stilted smile.

'Report to Rogers at 0800 tomorrow.'

* * *

It's been three hours and she's not tired. Steve's managed to land a few punches on her during their spar sessions and while before his blows would have bruised and broken, now they feel like she's being pricked by a very small needle.

Steve's been professional and distant, treating her like a colleague. Maria starts off grateful but now she can feel anger creeping up. Her attempt to stave it off ends in her denting the wall of the training room when her hit goes wild. Steve looks at the caved in section before dragging the back of his hand across his forehead.

'What? No comment?' She snaps out and he gives her an impassive look that's mildly disinterested.

'Let's start again.'

'No,' she spits out, unwrapping the tape she had wound around her knuckles even though she's practically invulnerable now. 'I'm done.'

'Fury said-'

'The Director can handle the disappointment,' Maria tells him and Steve's eyes narrow.

'Why are you so angry?'

'I'm not.'

Steve is silent for a beat. 'I'm not going to keep waiting around for you Maria. I've tried to be patient but frankly, I'm not sure what you want from me.'

His words slice through her.

'You shouldn't want anything,' she retorts as she walks past him. He grasps her wrist and it tightens when Maria doesn't immediately throw him across the room.

'What are you talking about? Why shouldn't I want-'

'Because you just shouldn't.'

'That's not good enough.'

'I'm not good enough,' she hisses out quickly and doesn't notice the surprise that flickers across Steve's face.

'Maria you're-'

'Do you know what And'ran did to me up on that ship?' Maria whispers and Steve falls silent. 'She showed me how weak I really was. How broken and… _damaged_  I am.' She catches Steve's eye. 'I'm not the American Hero. I'm not even worth a mention on the Avengers roster. Even  _Stark_ is more of a hero than I could ever hope to me.'

'That's not true,' Steve answers and his voice is firm. Maria barks out a wry laugh. 'You once told me that you had a duty to protect and from what I've seen you've done it well. Someone wise once told me that our conviction is our own. You're a strong woman Maria and you've gone toe to toe with people bigger, stronger and more powerful than you are to show that conviction.'

Maria doesn't really know what to say. His fingers are feathering across her cheeks and the rough catch of his calluses send a shiver down her spine. His eyes darken to rich, denim blue.

'I knew what I wanted before 42. I know what I want now.'

_What happens when you realize I'm not good enough._

'I don't-'

'It doesn't have to be now,' Steve tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. 'It doesn't have to be anything you don't want it to be. But,' he draws in a breath and sounds resolute, 'if you don't want this, I need you to tell me. I'm not going to force my attention on you if you don't want it.'

Maria feels her breath catch.

'I…' Her voice trails off and she does what she's been keeping herself from doing – she leans up and presses a feather-light kiss onto Steve's lips.

'Alright,' he says and Maria feels the blood flood her cheeks when he smiles at her.

They spar again, but this time it feels like dancing.

 


	5. End

Maria stares over the edge of the building.

'Come on,' Tony's voice comes out muffled from his mask. 'I promise I'll catch you.'

'Yeah I'm sure that's very reassuring to her right now,' Clint responds, thumb rubbing absently over his bow.

_Just take a deep breath and jump._

Maria swallows against the vertigo. She'd been hovering above the ground in random spurts recently and Tony, unfortunately, had noticed and brought it to Fury's attention.

_Really Hill you're pretty much indestructible. A fall from the top of Stark Tower isn't going to be a big deal._

The thought makes her blink and then Maria sucks in a breath. She dangles one foot off the ledge.

She really wishes Steve was here and not in Wakanda trying to broker an alliance with the Black Panther.

Maria jumps. And then finds herself floating and suspended, the wind buffeting her hair and skin.

She's flying.

'Son of a bitch,' Clint murmurs.

Tony skirts around her. 'Thank God that worked. Cap would have killed me.'

Maria decides to let the comment slide as she darts upwards towards the sky.

* * *

Apparently she needs a costume.

'What's wrong with my uniform?'

'Don't get me wrong – it's very…SHIELD chic. But you're an  _Avenger_  now and we like our costumes to reflect our individual identities,' Tony responds readily.

'Or egos,' Maria retorts.

Tony shrugs.

'Does anyone else feel like their stuck in a bad remake of Miss Congeniality?' Maria mutters under her breath, earning her a smirk from Natasha.

* * *

She's at home staring at the scars peppering her body. Her new powers have seen the ridged tissue smooth down but Maria thinks that if you squint hard enough, the pain and blood behind each mark isn't hard to miss.

The faint glow of the tall standing lamp makes her face warm and she peers intently at a faint line right above her right eyebrow. A few minutes later she pulls on the dark blue SHIELD uniform, fingers brushing lightly against the black bodysuit that had made Steve speechless. Maria allows herself a smile before darting out of her window into the new.

Chicago isn't like she remembers it. There seems to be a new edge to the city she hasn't noticed before, but maybe that's just because she hasn't been home in long time.

Home.

Maria tests the word out in her head as the wind whips through her hair. The flight from New York to Illinois had made her doubts resurface but she tells herself she needs to do this, if only because almost dying a few months ago has brought back memories that are becoming a noose around her neck.

She's kept tabs on her father since joining SHIELD covertly, though Maria is sure Fury knows and understands.

Anthony Hill's small apartment looms and Maria hovers uncertainly, watching the harsh white light spill onto the fire escape. She keeps her toes a few inches above the metal grating as she ventures towards the window.

Her breath stills as she takes in the faint air of dissaption and the shock of white covering her father's head. Anthony had always been a big man, something Maria had become familiar with whenever he reached for the bottle.

She remembers an old neighbour, one who had known her mother, telling Maria of how loving her father was, how he had doted on the woman he couldn't imagine a life without.

Maria's acknowledgment of her father's hatred doesn't make the pain or anger ease. Anthony Hill looks tired, a shadow of a man. Maria takes in the casual neglect of the apartment, wonders if she ever noticed it growing up or if her fear for her father made little details like that negligible.

Her boots land heavily on the ground and her father whips his head around. Maria finds herself staring into his blue eyes, the same ones she sees in the mirror, and something inside her seizes when those blue eyes regard her as a stranger.

She turns and leaves without a sound.

* * *

_Being indestructible wasn't all it was cracked up to be._

She thinks of the Ultrons and wonders whether they feel, whether they are worse off not being able to comprehend human emotion.

'Maria?' Steve's voice makes her duck her head lower. He's dressed in that brown leather bomber he favours and jeans, hands in his pockets as he straightens from his position outside her apartment door.

'I'm tired,' Maria tells him and its true. She makes a point not to make eye contact although she's conscious of his movement and smell.

'Where did you go?'

'Excuse me?' Maria whips her head around, eyes flashing. 'Have you been spying on me?'

Steve holds his palms up. 'I saw you fly out the window while I was coming in,' he answers easily.

Maria feels her shoulders deflate and the fatigue settle back down over her. 'Can we please-'

'Maria,' Steve says her name and the concern in his tone is new. It's foreign and unfamiliar. 'Why are you crying?'

His thumb swipes across her cheek and she touches her face when his finger comes away wet.

'God, what is wrong with me?' She murmurs under her breath. She gently pushes Steve away. 'Can we discuss whatever it is tomorrow?'

'No,' Steve retorts. 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing's wrong,' Maria tells him harshly and jerks away, all but splintering her front door as she gets it open. 'I'll see you tomorrow.'

'Mari-'

' _No_ ,' she practically yells and this time she knows she's crying because her vision blurs at the edges. 'You don't get to come in here and  _care_ about me like I'm someone worth…like I'm _worth it._  Just leave me alone!'

'You don't mean that,' Steve whispers and his words make her pause. The blood rushes to her cheeks and she wonders what he thinks of this broken, confused woman before him.

_What makes you think that a man who symbolizes the exact opposite could ever come to feel anything for you?_

'I really need you to go,' Maria turns her face away and shrugs off her jacket. She sees that her hands are shaking.

Fingers close over her shoulder and she thinks it's the warmth that proves to be her undoing. It's comforting and she doesn't know whether that's a good or bad thing.

Steve murmurs in her ear, words she doesn't hear over the sobs that come from deep within her. Her father's eyes, so cold and so indifferent, even after all these years…

Maria buries herself into Steve's chest and likes the way his arms come around her like a shelter. Like a protector.

* * *

She wakes up the next morning feeling like crap. She's in her bed and still in her SHIELD uniform. The curtains are drawn and the sunlight is muted.

Maria smells eggs.

She brushes the hair from her face and rubs her hand through it. She hears the dull clang of pan against stove and buries her face into her hands.

'You're awake,' Steve states. Maria presses against her forehead before slowly turning towards him. He's dressed in a white undershirt and what looks suspiciously like a pair of boxers. The intimacy of the moment makes her want to laugh.

Maria doesn't know what to say and she stares out the window. She feels exposed and vulnerable, which is ironic considering she could crush the wall to dust.

The air moves and Steve is crouched beside her, looking up with those eyes so unlike her father's. It makes her heart jump.

'Thank you,' she tells him softly, almost ashamed. Steve seems to pick up on the undertone because he reaches out to her, wraps his callused fingers around her own roughened ones.

'You don't ever have to thank me for caring about you.'

She squeezes his fingers tightly, as if afraid that he would float away like a dream.

And Maria feels something she hasn't felt in a long time – loved.


End file.
